do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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