NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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