Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
They took my balls.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
