we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He told me they were just razor bumps!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
