I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
