it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
