Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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