yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
