I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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