Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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