you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Drake has all the answers
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
