so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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