I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
