I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
