He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
