How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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