So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
