your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
