i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
