Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
