Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
