Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize