wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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