My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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