i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
