i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
