i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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