Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Randomize
