Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
