if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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