I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
