why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She told me I should be a condom model.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
