i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
