The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
