I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
