well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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