last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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