I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You need a sexual gate keeper
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
