Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
