I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
