dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
