So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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