so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
