Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
please come you make the beer taste better
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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