3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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