I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
