Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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