I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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