Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize