it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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