So gin and wine won't be happening again
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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