We're like a lot better than the average bears
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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