After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
