I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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