He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
