There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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