Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Someone came in the potted fern
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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