hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
