So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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