The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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