I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
