dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize