her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There r osticjed everywhere
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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